"And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids ..."

File this under "you must be joking." The chancellor of Lakehead University, an otherwise fine institution nestled in the bosom of our sister nation to the North, has banned campus wifi. Not cell phones, not mp3 players, not the campus radio station ... wifi. There will be no wireless network nor untethered access to the Internets for the Thunderwolves. Why? EMF, friends, the scourge of this newfangled technology stuff we keep hearing about.

Sure, the 7,000 students in Thunder Bay can fry the bejeebers out of their brains with their cellies, and jam themselves to stone deafness with their iPods, but thank Heaven, they'll be safe from that treacherous toxic telegraphic pulse from the 802.11g.

God help the Thunderwolves. It's probably no wonder that their website lists "news" from the 2002-2003 school year. Let the kiddies get their wifi on, man. This ain't your father's Internet, ya dig?

Check out the more seriously reported version of this story here, at itbusiness.ca. And if you're of a mind, pay a little visit to the (dated) online home of the (don'tcha love saying it?!) Thunderwolves. Maybe drop the chancellor an e-mail ... nah, you'll probably need a stamp to get a message to him. Something tells me he's not an e-mail kinda guy. Dr. Gilbert, seriously, dude ... this is just not cool.

P.S. According to the story at itbusiness.ca, the decision to ban wifi is credited to Dr. Fred Gilbert, president and vice-chancellor. Dr. Lorne Everett is chancellor. Apologies for the above misnomer, and thanks to a friendly webmaster who pointed out the error.